I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
