I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
