he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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