I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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