exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
