I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
