If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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