I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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