just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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