is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
