it hurts more in the daytime
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
