i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
