my vag is so smooth its legendary
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
