i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
