I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
