Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
