You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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