He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
