i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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