So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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