everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
