Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
