girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
