Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Randomize
