ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
