no. you can't hotbox the world.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
