My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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