whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
