I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
