I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
