I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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