First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
