he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
