just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
