No awkward lesbian experiences without me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
