Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
