After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
