I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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