ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
pop tarts are not kleenex
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
