quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we're making bets on your personal life
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
