I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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