don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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