super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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