Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
