Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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