He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
