Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
