Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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