Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
