and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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