we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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