Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
